Friends are like Suspenders

Grandpa always wore a belt and suspenders. Relatives accused him of being a pessimist. They claimed he worried too much. He said he just wanted to be sure nothing could go wrong. Perhaps if he used only a belt or only suspenders, something might happen to cause his pants to fall. Using both, one would hold if the other failed.

As a child, I can recall several preachers who jokingly suggested that Ecclesiastes 4:9 – 10 was instruction wear both a belt and suspenders. Grandpa certainly seemed to follow that advice. I grew older and reread Ecclesiastes 4:9 – 10 and then went on and read through verse 12. This scripture was not about a belt and suspenders!  The more I read, the more I understood. This passage is about having friendships with other humans. The author indicates that while having one friend is good, having two or more is better. 

Friendships behave a lot like suspenders during difficult times of life. Everyone has heard that it is the difficult times of life that show who your real friends are. Who was willing to step forward, even if it was inconvenient for them, to help you when they saw you had more than you could handle? Who spoke up when they saw you were discouraged and tried to encourage you? Who saw that you were becoming disconnected from your circle of friends and worked to help you reestablish that connection?

I live in western Montana. Snow is not uncommon here. I recognize that my abilities and reactions on snowy and icy roads are not nearly as good as they were when I was 20. If the weather is hazardous, I try to stay home, even if it means missing local events that I would usually attend. A few years ago, the winter was worse than usual. We had so much snow that only about 6 inches of the tops of the fence posts in the field showed above the snow. Due to the weather, I was snowbound for a long time. Then one day, I received a text from a friend who was also part of a group I had joined. The message stated that the group missed me and that they were looking forward to when I could attend again. They offered understanding support for where I was and encouragement to rejoin the group. It helped to brighten the dreary days until the snow melted, and the roads were safe for me to drive again. This friend acted as “suspenders” for me at that time. 

Many times we start to believe that we must pursue God solitarily. We mistakenly begin to think that we must only find encouragement in scripture or prayer. Joining with others who are in pursuit of God is healthy, and something scripture encourages. (Hebrews 10:24 – 25) The idea of these verses is to help each other to stay focused on living in God’s shadow.

This matter of mutual encouragement reminds me of when I was about nine years old. I had begun to collect postage stamps. My dad was a stamp collector, and I picked up the hobby from him.  I displayed my collection in a “Stamp Album.” The album helped me know what I had and what other variations of stamps were still to be collected. My dad and I would go to “Stamp Club.”  Viewing other people’s stamp collections and listening to lectures about stamps at the club would invigorate my interest in the hobby. Once or twice a year, we would attend a stamp show. At these shows, people would have all kinds of stamps and other old postage related materials for sale. These stamp shows would also encourage me to work on my collection. After a club meeting or a show, I would spend time properly affixing stamps in my album. I searched my loose stamps looking for any still missing from the collection.  The problem was that the “Stamp club” was only once a month, and the shows were even less frequent. In those weeks in between, my interest would begin to wane. I would almost forget about my stamp collection. Then the next meeting would excite me again. Eventually, our family moved to another area. In this new area, it was a long drive to any stamp club. My interest withered. I would occasionally get my album out and look at what I had collected and then put it back. There was no impetus to continue the collection. Today I know that my old album is somewhere in my house, but I do not know where. I have not even looked at it in several years. 

I have found that usually, if we think we are alone, we will eventually get discouraged and quit whatever it is we are doing. Believing we are alone will lead to discouragement in our pursuit of God as well.  Perhaps that is why we have scripture verses like 1 Samuel 23:16, Ecclesiastes 4:9 – 12, and Hebrews 10:24 – 25. Each of these speaks of finding or receiving encouragement to continue through fellowship with likeminded people.

This association with other likeminded people works to encourage all parties involved. Sometimes we are excited and feeling extra blessed and can help others. Other times we will have to be supported by those around us. Sometimes we need someone to come alongside us and kindly remind us of what our goal is and whom we are pursuing. 

Living in God’s shadow, we learn how to live pleasing to Him and how to live in fellowship with other believers. In that fellowship, we encourage and challenge each other to live in God’s shadow. As friends, we are “suspenders” for each other. We support each other. We encourage the discouraged. We share the things we find in scripture, and we move closer to God.  

Be “suspenders” for a friend today. Encourage someone who is discouraged. Draw others with you in your quest to live in God’s shadow.