Special Valentines

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Our fourth-grade classroom buzzed with excitement. The day of our Valentine’s party had arrived. Each desk was equipped with a box or a bag to receive cards from other students. We darted around the room passing out Valentine’s cards before class started. 

Some students tried to secretly deliver gifts to the boy or girl for whom they had feelings. The romances of my fourth-grade friends seldom lasted more than a few days. One boy, in an attempt to win the affections of a girl, delivered a cardboard heart filled with chocolates. His efforts to be secretive failed when the girl’s card receptacle tore and crashed to the floor.

 Most of our parents had purchased identical boxes of Valentine’s Day cards at the same store for this party. Many of the cards I gave were exactly like the cards I received. Still, I wanted the perfect card for each person. I thought about how much I liked or disliked the person I intended to give the card too. I considered whether the card was going to a boy or a girl. I worried about what meaning the recipient may, or may not, read into the message of the card. Assigning cards to my classmates was a difficult task. 

I usually gave friends a card that said something like, “Glad you are my friend, Valentine.” A person whose affections I wanted might receive, “Will you be my Valentine?” Anyone who was not a friend would receive a card that simply said, “Happy Valentine’s Day.” Today I shake my head at how much time I spent deciding which Valentine’s Day card to give to each person.

If I spent as much time pursuing the heart of God now, as I did sorting Valentine’s day cards in fourth grade, what would happen? How much better would my life radiate His love for those around me? My walk with Him would certainly be closer. What effect would that closer walk have on every one of my relationships? Would I be more of an inspiration for my family, coworkers, neighbors, and anyone else I come into contact with? How much better of a husband would I be for my wife?

Did you know that God pursues us? He wants a relationship with each one of us. The story of scripture is the story of God working out a plan for the redemption of fallen humans. The Bible is filled with stories of God desiring to have a relationship with the humans he created. This pursuit is even more amazing when you consider He opened the way for us to be reconciled to Him through the sacrificial death of His Son.

The development of a healthy, romantic relationship requires each person to pursue the other. I had a friend who was enamored with a young lady who attended the same college as he did. All her friends stated that she had expressed a romantic interest in my friend. He would ask her for a date and she would turn him down over and over. He refused to give up on her. Finally, she agreed to go on a date. One date turned into many dates. Those of us watching recognized she was not reciprocating his pursuit. She worried. What if he proved untrustworthy? What if he ever found out the things about her that only she knew? Eventually, she seemed to soften a little. She began to show that she cared about him. He proposed marriage. She hesitated and then said no. He continued to date her. She began to understand that the relationship could only grow if she also invested in it. He proposed again and she agreed. They have been happily married for many years now.

Unfortunately, this story is often a picture of what happens when God pursues us. We do not believe that He cares. His promises seem to be too good to be true. We see how unworthy we are. We appreciate the gesture, but not enough to pursue Him in return. Fulfillment and spiritual growth come in the recognition and reciprocation of the pursuit.

God wants us to pursue Him. The pursuit of God is not all that different from when one pursues the affection of another person. When I was dating, I tried to avoid doing things that my girlfriend found offensive. I tried to act like I had good manners. I even opened her car door for her. I allowed her to change me. I was hoping I would be the person she would choose to pursue. What would happen if I allowed God to make changes in my life the way I allowed my girlfriend to make changes in me?

I recall learning patience and consideration on some of our dates. Taking her to a fast-food restaurant was challenging for me. I am the type of person that orders quickly and usually orders the same thing every time. My girlfriend was a missionary kid who had grown up in Peru, South America.  Consequently, she was unfamiliar with the items on the menu in even the most famous fast-food restaurants. She would stand there and read through the menu while the line behind us grew. She would ask questions, while the line continued to grow. Then, with hesitation, she would try to make a choice. I would bite my tongue as the growing line grumbled behind us.  Finally, the order would be placed, and I would pay and breathe a sigh of relief.  To show the patience and consideration for her that was needed, I had to understand why she was slow ordering. I had to care more about her than about my embarrassment.

As I look at my life, I marvel at the patience and consideration God has shown me. God always knows when I do not understand, am hesitant, or am confused. He has shown great patience while trying to teach me, even when I have to repeat the lesson. God always considers my ability to understand what I experience. He is never mystified about the intent of my thoughts and actions. His goal is to draw everyone into His shadow and show us all how much He loves us. 

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The Refuge of His Shadow

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The air raid sirens wailed. Firetrucks drove up and down the streets of the small town in Indiana.  We stood on the second floor, looking out of the windows, watching the storm, and laughing at the firemen. We surmised that the firemen lacked anything else to do. We were unaware that a tornado had been spotted near our town. We did not understand that the air raid siren was a tornado warning. We did not know, the firemen were trying to keep people safe. Our lack of understanding was due to our lack of experience. We were from western Montana. We had no experience with tornados. We only knew a severe thunderstorm was occurring.

I have come to realize everyone faces storms in their life. These storms of life often feel like they will uproot the whole world. Many times we fail to recognize the warnings given and the dangers present in the storms of life. This is because we have never experienced these types of storms before. These storms of life will vary in type and intensity.  Sometimes they will be a bad weather storm like a tornado that destroys everything we own. Other times it will be a storm in our relationships, or our health, or our finances. Occasionally, the storm will be the death of a loved one.  In these storms of life, we will be buffeted by the wind, drenched by the rain, and bruised by the hail. God does not always prevent these storms. When we live in His shadow, He is with us through the storm. God offers us the comfort and the strength to stand throughout the storm.

We will not understand the “why” for every storm that comes into our lives. We may not comprehend the reason for any of the storms we encounter. God is with us whether we understand the storm or not. There is no storm that frightens God.

It is in these stormy times, God reminds us, he wants us, we are valuable to Him, and He is still writing our story. The storms may make us think that our story is over. Yet, God reminds us that our story is not over until He says it is. When the time comes for our story to end, He will give us the grace to face that storm as well.

My sisters and I would huddle around my mother during those severe thunderstorms. Attempting to comfort and calm us, she would take us to the basement or a more central room. Inside the refuge she chose, the sound of the storm was muted. She would sing to us and try to get us to join in. While her efforts did not lessen the intensity of the storm, they did offer us comfort. When mom was there, we had hope. Similarly, God stands with us, encouraging us, reassuring us, and holding us as the storms of life wash over us.

Stormy times arise when we least expect them. They are times when it appears the lies others tell about us are going to win the day. Situations where we feel our character has been assassinated. Times when we are told, we are unnecessary and unwanted. These storms cause us to question whether we have any value. These storms can also make us ask if God still loves us.

I recall a storm in my life. It was a time when everything seemed to have gone wrong. I felt unneeded by the church I attended at the time. I  found myself on the outside of the group I had considered friends. The only place that people seemed to accept me was in the secular realm. During this storm, I prayed. I asked God for hope, some sort of an anchor point. His reply was, “Do you believe that I love you?” My first response was a quick affirmation that I did. But God persisted, “Do you truly believe that I love you?” This exchange was repeated daily for a while. I was so damaged from the storm, I did not understand the question. Eventually, I realized that because of all the trauma of the storm, I had started to doubt God’s love. I had begun to question if God still loved me, still valued me, and still had a plan for me. Listening to His voice, I realized He loved me intensely. God had not made unfavorable comments about me. God had not misunderstood my actions and misinterpreted my intentions. It was not God who had said that I was unneeded. It was not God who had indicated I was without value and had no further purpose in His plan.

The storm of accusations whirling around me, the voices of others, had said and done those things. I realized I had to refocus on God and on living in His shadow. There was no doubt the storm was big and scary. It seemed never-ending. I felt like it was impossible to stay anchored during the storm. But God was there, whispering, “I love you” and holding me tighter than I had ever experienced. He was patient with me. Helping me to understand that He was with me and that my story was not over yet. 

We try to fight life’s storms by ourselves. We want to believe we can handle anything. God will allow us to try to fight the storm in our strength if we insist. Yet, He welcomes us back when we are overwhelmed by the storm and flee to the refuge of His shadow.

 God’s shadow is a place of refuge, healing, and restoration. I can never remember God saying, “See, I told you so.” when I came running back to Him. I have found that He simply starts from where I am and goes about helping me to repair the damage the storm has inflicted. I may beat myself up, saying, “I should have known better.” but He just says, “Do you love me? Will you let me heal the wounds the storm caused?” Everyone is welcome to find the refuge of God’s Shadow.

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Seeking God’s Face

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Have you ever tried to locate someone without seeing his or her face? I have. The results have been etched in my memory ever since. 

I was about 4 or 5 when my family traveled with my aunt from our homes in western Montana to Glacier National Park. The park was beautiful. The scenic views on Going to the Sun Road were incredible. At the top of Logan Pass, we stopped at the visitor’s center. I began my time in the visitor’s center with my aunt. Eventually, I decided I wanted to be with my dad, who was just across the room from us. She asked if I was sure I could make it to my dad by myself. I assured her I could because I could see his pants from where I stood. She let me go. I headed straight for those pants. I made it to the pants and wrapped my little arms around one leg. I heard a voice say, “Hello there, sonny.” It was not a voice I recognized. I looked up and realized that another man wearing the same color and style of pants as my dad was in the building. I had the wrong person. I was very embarrassed. Fortunately, the visitor’s center was small, and I was able to spot my dad just a few feet away in a different line at the counter.  That day I learned what happens when you look only at pants and not at faces.

A couple of posts ago I wrote about God providing us with a map in 2 Chronicles 7:14.  When that map is followed it enables us to live in His shadow. The starting point on the map was to humble ourselves. The next stop on the map after humbling ourselves was to pray, which I discussed in my last post. The final stop on the map is to seek God’s face and turn from evil.  

I enjoy studying faces. I study faces wherever I go, walking down the street, in restaurants, in the mall and yes, even in church services. Most of the time, a face gives you a snapshot of the person in that instant. I am not alone in making determinations about people based on the expressions on their faces. Teachers, preachers, salespeople, cashiers, and customer service representatives all learn to read faces. Everyone who must engage with the public learns to read faces. Are they happy, sad, scared, or angry?  Are they aware of their surroundings or oblivious? Are they awake, alert, and engaged? These observations help to keep us safe and help us to interact appropriately.

 We never have to worry that God is disinterested in us. He is never oblivious to the situations we are facing. He is never sleepy or disengaged. God’s eyes are constantly on us. He is continually trying to catch our attention. God wants us in a close relationship with Him. Did you know that humanity is God’s prized creation? 

 We live in God’s shadow by seeking His face. Seeking God’s face is allowing Him to shape our lives, our thoughts, and our actions. It is following God’s lead. Seeking God’s face allows God to reveal the contents of our hearts to us.  It is asking Him to show us anything that would hinder us in our efforts to live in His shadow. 

I have been married for over 27 years. I have found that understanding what my wife prefers is important, but doing what she likes makes life a whole lot easier. It also seems to make the marriage work much smoother. I do not always get it right. Sometimes, I feel like I make mistakes more often than I get it right. She has found the same to be true about me.  The more we are together the more we know about each other. We must seek to learn about each other. When we stop studying each other, our marriage starts to become dull and burdensome. 

Similarly, when we seek God’s face we are finding out what pleases Him. Learning about Him teaches us what we need to change in our lives. It helps us make good choices in our relationship with Him. This creates a stronger and more vibrant relationship. The more time we spend in conversation (prayer) with God, the more we know about Him and His desires. The more we learn of Him, the more He reveals His plans for us and our lives.

It is impossible to truly seek God’s face and continue pursuing evil at the same time. Anyone, who has tried to do two conflicting things at the same time, is aware of this fact. Distracted driving is very dangerous, yet many of us have done it. I drove distracted on a date once. Okay, so I was trying to kiss her and drive. I was very distracted. Suddenly, I heard the sound of tall weeds hitting the car. I tore myself away and looked. I found my car had traveled in the same direction I was facing. My distracted driving had resulted in the car drifting off the edge of the road. Fortunately, I was able to correct the course without so much as a dent. I drove on with a racing heart and shaking hands. I learned kissing and driving do not mix. It is now about 30 years later, and I still do not mix kissing and driving.

When we pursue sin, we step out of God’s shadow. We travel in the direction we are looking in. We stop seeking God’s face and favor. The longer we stay distracted, the harder it is to refocus. The reverse is also true. When we pursue God’s shadow, we step away from sin. Turning away from sin is the natural result of turning toward God. 

When I was small, there was one requirement for getting dessert at the end of a meal. Eat all my dinner. That meant all the meat, potatoes, and vegetables that my mother put on my plate. This rule was in place for my well-being. Likewise, following all of the simple steps, in the order listed, in the map found in 2 Chronicles 7:14 will enable you to live in God’s shadow. Living in God’s shadow is good for everyone’s well-being.

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That Place Called Prayer

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I still fondly remember some of my friends from when I was in third and fourth grade. At that time the friendship was strong. Conversations took place at every opportunity. It has been several decades since I last saw those friends or even spoke with them. Those friendships are only memories now. Life has taught me that friendships without conversation tend to wither away. I have found that my relationship with God works very similarly. When I stop conversing with God in prayer, my relationship starts to wither and my faith in Him starts to shrink.

My last blog post discussed the fact that God has provided us with a map that will lead us into His shadow. The starting point for that map was to humble ourselves before God. As I examine the route, laid out in 2 Chronicles 7:14, the second point on the map is to pray. It is interesting to note that God does not ask for our prayers first. He asks for us to humble ourselves before we start talking. Maybe a proud heart would only want to tell God what to do. Perhaps it is that a proud heart is not willing to receive instruction, not even from God. When we are proud and pray, we ask God to fix our brother or sister before He works on us. Living in God’s shadow must be done on a personal basis. We cannot do it for others and others cannot do it on our behalf. When we are humble and we pray, we ask God to fix us. 

Usually we think of prayer as humans talking to God, but I believe that prayer is intended to be a conversation. A conversation has two participants. One talks the other listens and then the roles reverse. Sometimes we forget how conversations work when we go to prayer. When that happens we do all the talking, none of the listening and then run to the next thing on our schedule. Our prayers sound something like:

“Hi God. I need this list of things and would you please help this list of people with their various needs? Thanks. I gotta go. See you tomorrow.”

I must admit there have been multiple times in prayer that my prayers have sounded similar. In those times I have distinctly felt God was asking me to sit down, be quiet, and listen to Him. When I followed His instruction God showed me things I had been overlooking or perhaps even ignoring. Possibly, the fact that God had already been moving in the situation I was praying about, or the comfort that the entire situation is in God’s control, or even the advice to step back and let God handle the problem. I only learn these things by allowing prayer to be like a conversation where each party speaks and then listens to the other. I believe that the Bible is full of evidence that God wants conversations with the humans He created. This was certainly evidenced in both the stories and the admonitions in the Old Testament and the teaching of Jesus in the New Testament. God wants to talk with you, are you willing to listen to and talk with Him?

When I talk to people, sometimes they only half listen and are easily distracted by other things, or occasionally they just wait for me to stop talking so they can tell me the opinion they had arrived at before I started talking, or sometimes they hear only what they want to hear. Unfortunately, there are times I find myself listening to God the same way others listen to me, therefore I don’t hear what he is saying.

When I talk to God, He truly listens. He hears my words, knows my attitude, and understands my intent. He knows if I am angry, sad, or happy. He knows if I am looking for revenge or am pleading for grace for myself or someone else. He knows if I am trying to fillibuster or if I am trying to repent for inappropriate actions and thoughts.

When my children were little they would climb into my lap and talk. It was interesting to listen to their account of what was going on in their world. Sometimes their accounts matched the events I had witnessed. Other times their perspective made their account sound like an event I had not witnessed. Interestingly, when they felt they had been heard they would begin to relax and settle back against me; they were then ready to hear me, to allow me to deal with the problems they could not even comprehend, let alone deal with on their own. The injustices, the bullies, and the fears had all been turned over to their father and were now his to deal with. I think prayer is very much like this. The Almighty wants to hear our account from our perspective and then He wants us to settle into Him and relax as He gives us comfort, advice, instruction, or correction. He wants us to allow Him to guide us and to deal with the problems we face. As I read the Bible I find that God is a God of conversation and relationship who is interested in our well-being, not a God of checklists of do’s and don’ts.  He is a God who wants you so close to Him that you are constantly in His shadow.

Praying with a humble heart changes us and prepares us for the next step on the map, seeking God’s face.

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The Map

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I have always enjoyed maps. I like town or city maps, state maps, country maps, world maps, road maps, topographic maps, even weather maps; I like all of them. Maps allow me to plan, they let me know that someone else has traveled this way before me and they tell me how to get where I am going.

Perhaps this love of maps goes back to my childhood when my family lived in Montana and my grandparents lived in Pennsylvania. Almost every summer we would pack up the car and start the 2000-mile trip to see grandmas and grandpas, knowing that after about two weeks there we would start the 2000-mile trip home. I would see my dad study the map in preparation for the trip and at various times during the trip. These travels were in the late 1970’s when the speed limit for the entire United States was still 55 mph so the trip took about three days each way. I can state from personal knowledge that there are a lot of roads between Montana and Pennsylvania; a lot of places where the wrong turn will put you many miles from your intended destination. A map was a necessity to make the trip as directly and efficiently as possible.

I was recently pondering how incredibly useful it would be to have a map that told us how to pursue God. I am trying to live in His shadow so knowing how to get there is critically important. The entire Bible reveals God to us, but where in Scripture can I find a clear, succinct map of how to get close enough to God to live in His shadow?  Suddenly, I realized that the map I was looking for had been around since the time of King Solomon. This map is found in 2 Chronicles 7:14 it says, “if my people who are called by my name humble themselves, pray, seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land.” (NRSV) These instructions provide a very clear map that leads from a lukewarm, or possibly cold, life to a life that is in hot pursuit of God. For those who choose to follow it, this map creates a desire to live in God’s shadow. While this verse concisely lays out the path to God’s presence and favor, the challenges of putting each of the steps into action are significant, but certainly not impossible.

The first action required in the verse is to humble one’s self. Not an easy thing to do. Personally, I like me; I think I have good ideas and that I do things correctly, because of that I should be honored, right? If I am displaying this attitude, even if only in my mind, I am proud, not humble.

I remember when God asked me to begin working with Spanish speakers I had several reasons it would not work for me to obey. The first reason I gave seemed like it should end God’s request. I did not speak Spanish. The second reason was similar, I did not know or understand the culture and customs of Latin Americans. As I look back I realize that I was proud and the pride made me fearful. I would have to admit that I did not know things. I would have to learn a new language and new culture and customs. Worst of all in the process of learning I would likely make some mistakes and be embarrassed. I might commit some social faux pas and be laughed at. This was too much for my pride to consider. Fortunately, my desire to live in God’s shadow overpowered my pride and I began to work on learning Spanish and learning about the culture of Latin Americans. Yes, I made mistakes. Yes, I was embarrassed. The mistakes and the embarrassment were made more tolerable when I realized that my choice to not listen to the protests of my pride had moved me closer to God. 

Humility is not an easy thing to achieve. Usually, if you think you have humility you still need to work on it. Humility is one of those character traits that others see in you, but you honestly cannot see in yourself. Just letting God direct how you live your life day by day is an exercise in humility. This forces your pride to surrender control of your life to God, meaning that God and not your pride decides what is best for you, what you will do with your assets, how you will treat people and a host of other matters that each one of us deals with on a daily basis.

Biblical examples indicate that we are only usable to God if we are willing to be humble before Him. Think of King Saul, who started out humble and then allowed pride to take over. Even King Solomon started out humble but over time allowed pride of his God given abilities and resources to cause him to directly disobey the first commandment. (The command not to have any other gods.) 

 A present day example of something being unusable would be if I tried to use a map of Europe to plan a trip from my home in Montana to the state of Colorado. The map of Europe might be beautifully drawn and very colorful, but it simply would not have the information I would need to plan the trip I wanted to make. Similarly, God cannot use our selfish pride to bring us into His presence. Entry into God’s presence and living in God’s shadow, requires a humble heart. A heart that is willing to allow God to work it into the shape He wants it to be. The humble heart is willing to be used, as God wants to use it. The humble heart recognizes that God is in control and does not fight against that fact. 

I wish I could tell you that I have being humble, mastered. I wish I could tell you that I am never tempted to want what I want; instead of what God asks. I cannot. Being humble and living in God’s shadow requires daily choices to be sensitive to how God is instructing you to act. It is the belief that God has your best interests in mind, and the certainty that God loves you and wants you near to Him, living in His shadow, viewing Him as your refuge.

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